Teresa J. Dumire, a member of the firm’s management committee and the managing member of our Morgantown office, recently delivered the keynote address at the WVU Honors College Medallion Ceremony. Her speech, “Tips for Being a Successful Leader (and a Happy Person)” were so well received that we thought our readers should benefit from her wit (and wisdom).

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It doesn’t seem like so long ago that I was sitting where you are, but then, I blinked and more than 20 years have passed. During that time in the professional world, I have learned several things that I want to share with you. So, I have condensed my advice down to 10 tips for how to be a successful leader and a happy person:

1. Find a job that you love with people you respect and work hard at it.
* This is not to say that you will love everything that you do, because you will not, but seek a job that you find enjoyable and challenging and work hard at making yourself indispensable.
* But perhaps even more important than the work itself is the team of people with whom you work. You will find that you spend more time with your co-workers than with your family and friends, so if you like and respect them, you will be happier… and if you are happy in your job, then you have a better chance at success. I truly believe that working with people you genuinely like and respect will get you through the bumps in the road.

2. Don’t surround yourself with “yes men” and “yes women.”
* Take a lesson from Abraham Lincoln and surround yourself with those who do not share all of your same thoughts and ideas. If you surround yourself with others who are different from you, they will challenge you to think about things from a different perspective. This will help you grow as a person and as a leader.

3. Build good and positive relationships with other professionals.
* One way to do this is to join professional organizations that will help you market yourself, make new friends, and do something that you are passionate about. But, it is important to get involved in those organizations. Joining a group merely to put it on your resume does not benefit you in the long run. If you are selective about the groups you join, you will have the time and energy to be involved and engaged. Also, you will find that the friends that you make with other professionals will be invaluable to you as you are finding your place in the professional world.
* However, remember that you can’t do everything…it is okay to say no. As a young professional, I was afraid to do so for fear that I would lose opportunities. Sometimes this caused me to be spread too thin and get burned out. As I have gotten older…and more experienced…I have learned that it is okay to say no sometimes.

4. Take advantage of mentors. Listen to the advice of those who came before you. Learn from our mistakes…because, believe me, you will have plenty of new ones to make.
* You will find that professionals often enjoy teaching what we have learned along the way. So, be curious, ask questions, and have an open dialog with your mentors. You will also find that the worst consequence for asking for something is receiving “no” as the response. But, don’t be discouraged when that happens. Constructive criticism is a good thing. Take it for what it is…an opportunity to improve.
* You will learn that your life will be changed by your experiences and most definitely by the people you meet along the way. Be sure that the change is for the better.
* Then, when the time is right, become a mentor to those who come after you and share with them what you have learned on your path.

5. Put down the cell phone and have interpersonal communications.
* Much more can be accomplished through an in-person meeting or a brief telephone call than through the exchange of emails and text messages.
* Because we are much more likely to type an email or a text message than to pick up the phone or walk down the hall and talk to someone, I fear that we have become desensitized to other people. We need to return to a time when, if you have something important to discuss, you do it by looking another person in the eyes and not by sending an impersonal email or text message.

6. Being a leader means doing what is right…not what is easy.
* Sometimes leaders have to make difficult decisions. These decisions must be made with great thought and care…and often result in lost sleep.
* However, if you truly care about your organization and the people who rely upon you for their livelihood, you will take the time to explore your options, do whatever research is necessary, and discuss the issue with others who can provide sage advice.
* Once the decision is made, do not look back. If you do your best to make the right decisions through careful thought and preparation, there is no reason to continue to analyze the decision after it is over and have regrets.

7. No matter how high your star rises, never shine too brightly to remember that you did not (and cannot) do it alone. There are many people in your path who have (and will in the future) assist you along your way to becoming a successful leader.
* A true leader will roll up her sleeves and work beside her employees. So, you should never be too good to perform any task that is needed.
*  Although I am one of the managing partners of my law firm, I still make coffee, wipe out the microwave if I see that it is dirty, make copies to help get a project done on time, or any other number of tasks to help my team.
* My staff all know that I respect them, that I will help them, and that I will fight for them if needed. Nothing makes me angrier than when someone is rude or disrespectful to a member of my staff…especially when that person would never consider being rude and disrespectful to me.
* So, be humble, be kind, and don’t be a jerk. I believe that the best leaders are respected. Jerks are never respected.

8. Your reputation is, perhaps, your most precious commodity. Once it is tarnished, it is nearly impossible to polish again. So, although circumstances, or your opponents, may tempt you to do otherwise, ALWAYS take the high road. Never get close to “the line.” If it feels wrong, don’t do it. In today’s digital age, you should consider that your actions are being recorded at all times. So, avoid doing anything that you would not want to later see on social media. A good litmus test is that if you would be embarrassed for a loved one to see what you are doing, don’t do it. You have heard about The Golden Rule since you were children…it applies equally as an adult and in your professional life.

9. When you make a mistake (and you will make more than one) own it, learn from it, forgive yourself, and move on. Do not blame others for your mistakes.

10. Take time for yourself and for your family.
* As time passes, the things you regret will be the time that you missed with your loved ones. You will never regret missing a billable hour or a meeting here and there.

In closing, I want to tell you a brief story. For more than a decade, my husband and I focused on building our careers. Then, we decided that it was time for us to start a family. However, we learned that we had missed our window. While the news was initially devastating, we realized that we could choose a different path to have a family. Our adoption journey was long, but well worth every moment spent completing paperwork and waiting on “the call.” That call came two-and-a-half years ago when our adoption agency said that a baby girl had been born in Florida who was waiting on us to be her parents. Nearly 25 hours later, we were on a plane, and 44 hours later, she was placed in our arms. We now have brilliant, loving, funny, and beautiful daughter and we have never been happier – or more tired from attempting to achieve work-life balance.

I tell you this story to illustrate the fact that you should never lose hope. If you have a goal, realize that sometimes the most direct path is not the one that will lead you to it. Keep an open mind and you can and will achieve your goals and make the world a better place.

I guarantee that you will be faced with many challenges and you also will have many successes in your life. How you handle your successes, and certainly how you handle your failures, will define you as a professional and as a person.

CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES FOR AN AMAZING FUTURE!

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This is what it means to be a leader in law, in business, and in life.